How To Avoid Problems and Save $$

A Personal Note From Your Car

Dear Car Owner,

It’s me, your car. It’s time we had a heart to heart talk. Simply put, a valve to valve talk about the way you’ve been treating me lately.

You may want to buckle up and sit back as this could be a bumpy ride … which is expected when you don’t put air in my tires. You’re really ‘braking’ my heart by putting all of your needs before mine.

I spend my days shifting your car from gear to gear knowing just what speed you want and how quickly you want to get there.

You can feel the static friction through the core of my entire engine. You’ve been a little neglectful these past few months and I’m starting to get overheated.

You might want to look into adding some water to my radiator before you find yourself stuck on the side of the road again in the dead of night. I know how scared you are of the dark. BOO!

Remember when you didn’t change my left headlight for months because you figured the right headlight would illuminate the road enough for you to drive the back roads of Maine in the middle of winter at 2:00 am? Now, please get me a drink of coolant and fill my radiator before I blow a gasket and decide to leave you on the side of the road again crying like a little girl!

My sleek and luxurious best friend, Aston Martin suggested you read “Men Are From Mars and Cars Are From Venus” to help you brush up on your listening skills since they seem to be muffled. This book is similar to your manufacturer’s service manual so I recommend you read and follow the manual’s direction as well.

Aston told me it saved his relationship with his owner James Bond, who now treats him like a magnificent piece of machinery that he truly is!

Let’s face it, you haven’t given me your undivided attention in a long time and it’s becoming quite exhausting. Every time I rev up, sputter, whine, hiss, ping or squeal my engine, you close the window and crank up that new stereo, tuning me out. It’s really starting to blow my pistons. You might want to take a peak underneath my hood before I start blowing grayish blue smoke out my rear end!

Now that I poured out all my oil from crying, all I ask of you is to love me tender, love me sweet, service me and I’ll keep you safe and free from costly major repairs through all the years, till the end of time.

Your Loyal Means of Transportation,

Mustang Sally